Love
by AMysteryWorthSolving
Summary: Clara is given a decision. Travel full time in the TARDIS, or continue to do the weekly Wednesday adventures. Will she choose? Or will she pick another option?


The world outside was safe. It was secure. Clara knew that. She knew that too well. But she also knew that this offer would never come up again. The chance to travel in the TARDIS 'full time', as the Doctor had put it. All the amazing things they could go see filled her mind. The adventures could go on and on and it would never have to end because Clara had to go back to look after the kids. The kids. That was what had stopped her before, what was still stopping her at that moment. She was torn between two lives. Being a nanny, or a traveller. The earth or the universe. The kids or the Doctor. If her decision was as easy as following her heart, she knew which she would have picked. But her decision wasn't that easy. Life wasn't that easy. Although the world was safe, it was cruel. As she stood looking from the doors to the Doctor and back again, she knew that whichever life she picked she would long for the other. She would eventually regret not picking that life. Whether it would be because she longed for a sense of adventure or longed for a quiet day for a change. The decision that loomed over her began to grow more and more suffocating. She could not pick. She would not pick. Instead of giving the Doctor a clear answer, Clara ran off into the TARDIS corridors, without looking once at the Doctor.

The Doctor stood there, perplexed. She had left just minutes ago and he was still stunned. It was not like Clara to run off in such a way. He wondered what had made the decision so hard for her, why she could not pick one life or the other. He had managed to do it, all those years ago on Gallifrey. He chose to run away and see the universe. He could not understand why she would not do the same. After all, all his other companions had done so. But what did not occur to him was that this was Clara. She did not run from her responsibilities and did not walk out on the people she loved. And what he did not realise was that was the problem. Love. After deciding it was best to go and check on her, rather than to leave her, the Doctor made his way out of the console room. He had no idea where she could have ran to. The ship was too large to play a guessing game, but he had no choice. Deciding on checking her bedroom first, he turned left when he reached the corridor.

He knew her too well. Clara was indeed in her own room. She was sitting on the edge of her bed with her '101 Places to See' book in her hand. Although the book was old and worn the colours of the pictures had not faded. They were still as vibrant as the day her mother had first owned it. It was a child's book. Clara knew that, but she still found joy in reading over the facts about the different places in the world. She found it comforting. She was able to loose herself in her own little world as she read. But her world was penetrated with a quiet knock on her door. Growing annoyed at the repeated knocking that would not go away, Clara stood up and opened the door of her bedroom. "Yes?" she snapped, finding the Doctor at her door with a tray filled with tea and Jammie wasn't the first time he had penetrated her world. Stepped in when he was not wanted. If she was not confused or annoyed, she would have acted differently, but under the circumstances, Clara slammed the door in the Doctor's face.

She had decided to play the blame game. She could not decide which life she could choose and it was going to be the Doctor's fault. Why? Because he was the only one that was there. Because he was the one who had shown her a different life. Because he was the one who had changed her. Changed her for the better, some may argue. But it hadn't. She had grown cold whilst travelling with him. She knew from the way she reacted with the kids. Her tone had become harsher with them. The consequences had become harsher for them. And with the little time she had, she rarely spent it with them. She knew what was happening to her, that she was becoming more and more like him. But she could not stop it. And that was what had made her decision. Instead of staying with the Doctor 'long term' she would take a break from the travelling. She would spend a month or two purely with the kids. She stood up and went back over to the door. Her heart yearned her to stop, but her head told her this was the right thing to do. And for a change, she decided she should listen to her head. Upon opening the door, however, it was harder than what she had hoped.

"Doctor?" Clara spoke softly, not being able to look him in the eye.

"Yes?" He was almost excited, as though he knew what she would say. What he /wanted/ her to say.

"I want to take a break. A break from travelling."

Silence held. For how long, neither knew.

"I'm sorry." Clara finally whispered. She tip-toed and pressed her lips to his cheek quickly before closing the door on him again.

The Doctor stood there, staring at the door, the tray still in his hands. Once again he was let down. Once again he would be alone. And once again it would have been because of someone he loved.


End file.
